Leaving

We are leaving in just a few weeks and it still seems very surreal. Daphne, on the Eastern Shore of Mobile Bay,has been our home for six and a half years. We have absolutely loved it here. The area is beautiful, we have been blessed with wonderful friends along the way and have treasured living near my brother, sis-in-law, and three nephews.

Difficulty has lived here as well. There has been job loss, broken bones, educational upheaval and some excrutiatingly painful lessons learned. But there has been much joy, much laughter, and many prayers answered with "Yes," "No," "Maybe," or "I'll get back to you on that."

So a new season begins. Last Sunday, I attended the 50th wedding anniversary celebration of my Aunt and Uncle. It was such a sweet time. While there, I watched a video slide presentation with scenes from their 50 years of marriage. Seeing as how I have been alive for 41 of those years, I and my family, parents, brother, were in more than a few. As I watched that slide show I was absolutely overcome with how quickly the seasons of our lives can change. There were pictures of my Grandparents, and my Dad who died in April of this year. There were pictures of my babies when they were small. I watched as much as I could--- attempting to breathe through the river of tears that flooded me. Then I all but ran to the bathroom and literally wailed in grief. My sweet cousin by marriage gave me about 45 seconds and then knocked on the door. She hugged me tight, and let me cry on her shoulder. Then she let me ramble for a few minutes. I put down the lid of the toilet and sat down to breathe normally again. Someone knocked on the door and I automatically said,"Come in." Imagine the surprise on the face of the young man,(brother to another cousin by marriage) when I calmly invited him in as I sat on the toilet. (Remember the lid was closed, and I was fully clothed.) He very nearly fell backwards in his attempt to escape the crazy relative who had invited him into the bathroom while still sitting on the toilet. My sweet girlfriend/cousin who was still in there and I almost collapsed in a fit of laughter. Amazing how quickly emotions can shift.

Blessedly, the seasons of our lives are around a little longer than that. For now,I have had about as much "season shift" as I can take. The positive side to this is that it is teaching me to treasure each day, the people who are a part of it, and the God who is with me through it all. And as much as I will miss this particular season, I am looking forward to the new relationships and the renewed old ones of moving back to the general area from whence I came.

Wonder If...

Wonder if I will ever get back in the groove of blogging? Its summer now. I am relieved for the break from homeschooling. It was a good year, but especially at the end it dragged on forever. I guess after April 3rd, my heart just was no longer in it.

Wonder if it will ever feel real that my precious and loving Daddy is not still limping around on this earth. Still can't believe he is not around for me to pick up the phone and call. Even more I am not used to going so long without him calling to check in and see how I, the kids and Kurt are doing. I will forever treasure that last phone conversation. About an hour and a half before the accident, we talked for about 25 minutes. It was a typical conversation. He asked about every family member, teased me a little, discussed the latest events including his activities of the morning and his plans for the next day. Easter. Celebrating our risen Savior. I think that Daddy did that every day anyway. I know he did that day. He celebrated and saw Him face to face. I am jealous of both of them; Daddy for seeing Jesus face to face, and Jesus for seeing Daddy face to face. I miss the gentle strength that shone on his face every time I ever saw it.

I remember feeling like the world should have stopped spinning when I heard the news that Daddy was gone; like the Sun should have gone out---flipped like a light switch. It didn't. And the world continues to spin, seemingly out of control. But I must acknowledge that it is not out of control. And that I do have hope because I know Who holds the future in His hands. Just like he holds Me and mine. Even now I know, in my heart of hearts that He never left my Daddy nor forsook him. In the very moment that the woman in the truck crossed over the double line--- slamming into his car, killing him instantly---he slammed right into the arms of His Jesus, the one he had spent the morning introducing others to.

Wonder if it will be very long before Jesus returns to take the rest of us home with Him?

Wonder how many of the people with whom I cross paths on a daily basis are actually ready to meet Him? And I wonder how I might better pray and/or speak to help point them to Him.

He is God, and He is Good. All the time.

Leisl

Happy Anniversary John and Dani!

"Ten years ago today, a stunningly beautiful young woman in a sleeveless, white, flowing gown stepped from a brick walkway up the steps to a picturesque college chapel set among gorgeous live oak trees. Waiting inside and down the aisle, a tall, dark -haired, and tanned young man with intense blue eyes waited for his bride with unparalleled anticipation.

In the vestibule, a sleepy-eyed , tuxedoed three-year old shyly took the hand of an exotic little nine-year old beauty, and with his other hand carried the white satin pillow holding the rings. Together, they walked down the aisle. She, daintily splashing flower petals and he, gazing at her with the adoration a young child only bestows on one a few years older. They performed their tasks beautifully.

Family and friends, bridesmaids, and groomsmen, witnessed the event with great joy as John and Danielle Scott Gilliam committed their lives to God and each other in marriage.

It was a yellow and red-leaved, breezy, autumn afternoon. It was ordained by the Creator of the Universe. And it was perfect."

July 21, 2009

Yesterday was my anniversary. 40 years ago, took my first steps on earth. The cool part is that it was the same day man took his first steps on the moon. Makes it easy to remember.

Today, my children and I did the mad scramble to get the house ready to be shown by a realtor. They were a big help. Had to take them for ice cream at McDonalds. It was the least I could do. Mommy's perfectionism must certainly be maddening. Considering the fact that this is our second go around at trying to sell our home, it is a been there done that for all of us....one we could honestly do without. It is what it is and it IS apparently something we gotta do.

Now, I am watching Alyssa munch on a granola bar. It is 10:40 p.m. She is sitting there, cross-legged on the couch beside me. She is wearing her lilac colored disney princess gown, (her favorite) and asking me questions. I love that girl! "Is this healthy? " she asks. I nod my approval and she, satisfied, continues crunching and asking me questions like, "Mommy when did you lose your first tooth?" We discuss normal tooth loss patterns among she and her friends.

Her Daddy walks in and compliments her artwork from Vacation Bible School. "Thank you," she says. He continues on and walks upstairs humming and singing, "Close to You," the one by Karen Carpenter.

Though it is late by the rest of the world's standards, it is not so much to us. We are winding down, it is good. Very, very good.

Leisl

New Mercies

It was a cold and gorgeous morning. The sun was brilliant and sparkling on the water as I sat by the bay with breakfast, coffee, my Bible and my camera. After some time with my Lord, I went for a walk with Him. We crossed the boardwalk, wound around on the gravel path, saw the large live oak tree where General Jackson gave some famous speech and then we walked back and picked up litter along the way.

I couldn't stop smiling. It was one of those goofy smiles you get when you are with someone you are crazy about. I talked to Him the whole time. We had a good time. I needed that walk more than I can describe.

I returned home later a better wife, a nicer Mommy.

Leisl

Random Things

I finally gave in and did the 25 Random Things about Me thing that everybody on Facebook has been doing. I think I will also post it here just for fun.

• My first word was "Kitty."
• I love cats. Surprise!
• I took my first step on earth on the same day that Man took his first step on the moon. "One small step for man....."(And baby girl.)
• My idea of a good time is a caramel macchiato, good music, and a good book.....either alone or with my Kurt, or with my Gaylefriend who lives three hours away and has to go to a different Starbucks.
• I LOVE being a southern girl, complete with sweet tea, cornbread and buttermilk.
• "I'd like to teach the world to sing...in perfect harmony!" No, really yall, it hurts all the way up my spine when somebody is singing offkey. They can't help it, but neither can I. Its good that God likes a joyful noise, maybe He will let me hear with His ears some day!
• People who take the time to care about others, (people and creatures :) ) totally ROCK! "What the world needs now, is love, sweet love."
• I believe there is a song for every occasion.
• I am the proudest Aunt that ever walked on this earth.
• I love hanging out with my kids. They are way too cool!!
• In high school, I was the Shelby County Spelling Bee winner. I lost at the state level on the word "Marmalade" which I did just spell correctly and will never misspell again.
• In college I went to London. While there, I went to Trafalgar Square to watch the ball drop on New Year's Eve. It was very exciting....but then I almost got kidnapped by an extremely creepy dude with a towel on his head. I was rescued by a GIRL who hit him until he let me go.
• My brother got chased in Atlanta by a dude with a chain saw. But that is his random thing. I just think its a neat story. If you know John, ask him about it sometime.14. I asked for a baton for Christmas this year.
• I have personally witnessed truly amazing Miracles that only a personal, infinite God could perform.
• My first paid job, other than babysitting was scooping ice cream at the Riverchase Galleria when I was 17. I quit one month later after being accused of stealing. The day after I quit, the REAL CULPRIT was discovered.....aaahhhhh....Can you say, vindication?
• My husband ate two week old baked beans the night before our wedding. Let's just say the tears streaming down his face as I walked down the aisle toward him were not just because he was overwhelmed with my beauty.
• In 1993, I had the privilege of traveling with my husband to Germany to meet his family over there. A travelling tip I have discovered is that when sitting in a small basement restaurant with people you don't know very well, who don't speak your language, and who are all smoking with no ventilation in sight, it is advisable to order two of what your Mother-in-law is drinking and enjoy the rest of your evening.
• I wish Sarah Palin was our president.
• I could have gone to college for FREE....I didn't. Hindsight is 20/20. Put those two twenties together and that is about how many years it seems to be taking to pay off my school loans.
• My twelve year old son is far more understanding and immediately forgiving of others than I am.
• I like to write poetry.
• I am sort of shy. Seriously.
• I do plan to overcome my faults, and I am so glad that "He is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us." (Ephesians 3:20)
• My husband, my father, and my brother are the 3 most awesome men I have ever known.

Just Seeking Him

It has been weeks since I posted. One would assume it has been due to the busyness of Christmas. That is part of the truth. The other part of the truth has been a heaviness of heart. Yes, I had a wonderful blessed Christmas celebration with my immediate and extended family. I had some very special time with cousins I rarely get to talk to one on one...and we had that. It was absolutely precious.

I am still hesitating....

In the life of my own little family, (and yes we belong to Him, the Christ we all celebrated), we have some pretty big issues staring us in the face. I know that right now in our country, there are many with similar issues due to the downturn of our nation's economy. Let's just say our own "economy" took a downturn almost two years ago when the company my husband worked for downsized, and as the highest paid employee, he was let go. Not fired...."let go." Whatever, the end result was the same. Since that time, his efforts at finding full time employment, which have been constant, have been to no avail. He had a temporary full time position that lasted about 3 and 1/2 months last year. He accepted the call to a church as a Bi-Vocational pastor one year ago, but without the other vocation. :) He has done whatever he could find to do, from landscaping, to cleaning businesses, to painting....odd jobs here and there. Still, for reasons that only the Lord knows. He (the Lord) has caused every single door to remain shut regarding full time employment.

Before you go deaf from the violins playing the sad music in the background, please know if you are still reading at this point that I do not write this to evoke sympathy or pity. This is just me, making a public proclomation that I know He sees our need, He is in control, and "My God shall supply all our need according to His riches in Christ Jesus."

We haven't missed a meal, and none of us are naked. We still have shelter and in the eyes of most of the world that makes us wealthy.

Quite simply, we are at a point in which some hard decisions have to be made, and we are just not sure which way to go.

If you happen to read this, and if you believe as I do that if we "Trust in the Lord with all our hearts, and lean not on our own understanding, in all our ways acknowledge Him and He will direct our paths," then just pray with me that we will keep Him our focus and trust Him and obey Him whatever He says and wherever He leads.

I am participating with DeeDee's TUESDAY'S TOGETHER (in the Word). One of the scriptures she mentioned was from the book of Isaiah, chapter 30 and verse 18:

So the LORD must wait for you to come to Him

So He can show you His love and compassion,

For the Lord is a faithful God.

Blessed are those who wait for His help.

How is that for a timely word?

Waiting for His Help,
Leisl